Because Reality TV Sucks
by Tyra Kinami
Summary: Another innocent day in the lives of 30 seconds to mars. Until Shannon, Jared, and Tomo get zapped into the TV that Tim is watching. Rated mature just because there is quite a bit of cursing.


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((A/n) I did not make this story, my best friend did. But I helped her with some of the ideas. I thought this was just plain hilarious so I had to put it up for everyone to see. All of the credit goes to my friend and she calls herself Divinity Defined.**

**My friend blames me for this story. We were talking about crack fics in our Spanish 3 class and I mentioned something about going into TV's. Then the kitten in my friend's head started running, and this fic was born. **

**Warning: Major crack fic, insane Jared, oblivious Tim, pop-stars, gay ninjas, pissed off doctors, musicals, mutants, and over all insanity.**

**Disclaimer: neither my friend nor me own Jared, Shannon, Tomo, or Tim. Nor do we own any movies/TV shows mentioned. No harm intended. This is all in good fun.**

**When you see click it means Timmy changed the channel.**

**Last thing for those of you that want to know the order of which the shows will be, here they are: That's So Raven, Hannah Montana, House MD, Naruto, High School Musical, X-Men: The Last Stand.**

**That's about it so enjoy the fic!)

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"Oh, what's that?" The youngest Leto asked as his finger reached out to touch the glowing T.V. remote that somehow got into the kitchen. A glare was sent his way by Shannon, who reached out to smack Jared's hand away. The younger brother pouted.

"C'mon Shanny!" Jared whined. "I just want to see what it does."

Shannon rolled his eyes as he grabbed Jared by the legs and pulled the younger brother out of the room. Tomo just laughed as he followed them towards the living room, a smile appearing on his face as Jared started to whine and pout at Shannon. Shannon found himself rolling his eyes again as he dropped his brother and sat himself on one of the chairs in the room.

"Do you remember what happened last time you touched something that was freakishly glowing?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah! We turned into those little army men! It was awesome!"

Tomo shuttered at the memory. Being turned into a plastic army man sucked for many reasons: 1) You were plastic, 2) you couldn't move, and 3) kids with firecrackers tried to blow you up. Whether it was bad luck or God fucking with them, Tim and Tomo had been chosen to be the two army men to blow up. Luckily for them they managed to escape with only a few scars.

Tim bounced into the living room, the glowing T.V. remote in one hand and a bottle of Pepsi in the other. When he heard Jared whining to Shannon about not being able to play with the remote, Tim pointed it at the singer and hit 'mute'. Shannon rolled his eyes at Tim and continued to ignore his brother. Even though the remote was glowing, and the last time something was glowing and someone used it, it nearly resulted in death; Tim turned the T.V. on and plopped down on the couch.

**click!**

"The fuck?" Tomo asked as he looked around.

Shannon, Tomo, and Jared were no longer in the living room. Instead, they were in a kitchen of some sort that looked like something straight out of a strictly girls show. Shannon felt as if he was going to throw up as Jared happily bounced around the room, yelling about That's So Raven.

"It's 62 degrees outside, my dad and brother are in D.C. and I have visions!" A girl named Raven cried as she walked into the room. Upon seeing the three boys, she smiled. "I advise you to stay off the bridge."

"What? Why?" Came Shannon's confused response.

**click!**

"You get the best of both worlds. Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show."

"Oh my _God_," Tomo covered his ears and ran for cover in the large dressing room they had appeared in. "Stop this torture! I promise I'll be good!"

When the music only got louder, Tomo and Shannon started to bang their heads on a nearby wall. Jared, on the other hand, was singing along to the song. A blond haired girl walked into the room, and Jared nearly fainted.

"What are you doing in my dressing room?!" The girl demanded.

"Oh my god! It's Hannah Montana!" Jared squealed as he crushed her in a hug. "I'm a huge fan!"

Tomo and Shannon stopped banging their heads against the wall long enough to look at Jared in disbelief. Jared was a fan of pop-music? Well that explained a lot, like his obsession with shoes, the blond wig, and why he liked make-up so much. Also why the T.V. was always on Disney Channel.

"Something is seriously wrong with your brother's head." Tomo told Shannon.

**click!**

"What's the differential diagnoses for writing G's like a junior high school girl?" Doctor House asked as he looked up from a letter.

"You had a sex change?" Jared mused, that famous Leto grin on his face.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my office?"

"I'm Jared!"

Shannon groaned, knowing this was going to turn very ugly if he didn't shut his brother up. He recognized the doctor from the show House, and he knew that House didn't like people. Too bad House just had someone as stubborn as him zapped into his T.V. show…

"Unless you need something, get out."

"I wanna go home!" Jared said, bouncing up and down a little bit, "I got zapped into my T.V.!"

"Ah yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want'."

Tomo reached out and pulled Jared back by his T-shirt, ignoring the noise of protest he got from the older man. Shannon apologized to House before opening the door to his office and shoving Jared outside of it. This couldn't possibly get any worse…

**click!**

"Believe it!" A spiky haired boy in an orange jumpsuit said as he pumped his fist into the air.

"Believe what?" Jared was stupid enough to ask.

"That I'll become the world's greatest Hokage!"

Jared just looked at the boy like he had three heads before slowly walking off to find his brother and friend. When he walked into the town, he saw Shannon and Tomo struggling to get away from a guy in a very ugly sweater. The closer he got, the more he had to contain himself from laughing hysterically.

"Who wants to have an intense man battle?" The guy asked.

"Shoot me, please." Shannon begged Tomo. "One shot to the head, no one will ever have to know it was you."

"I am Might Guy, and I demand that we have an intense man battle!"

"Shan, the creepy ninja guy wants to rape you!" Jared said between fits of laughter. "Told you that outfit makes you look gay!"

Shannon glared at Jared, who was too busy rolling on the ground laughing to notice. Tomo had a smirk on his face, but contained his laughter so that Shannon wouldn't kill him. Guy stepped closer to Shannon and held his arms out to give him a hug. Shannon cringed visibly when he was pulled into the unwanted hug.

**click!**

"Wildcats everywhere, wave your hands up in the air."

Tomo and Shannon looked at each other in horror as they realized where they were. The ending scene from High School Musical was playing out in front of them, and Jared wasn't afraid or ashamed to join the cast members in the final dance.

"That's the way we do it, let's get to it. Time to show the world!"

"I'm scared for life," Tomo muttered as he shielded his eyes.

The dance ended, and the cast of the movie slowly went their own ways. The only people left in the gym were Ryan, Sharpay, Jared, Tomo, and Shannon. Jared slowly made his way over to Sharpay and Ryan with Tomo and Shannon close on his heels. They didn't need a repeat of House, or Naruto for that matter.

"Hi Sharpay!" Jared said happily as he waved like an idiot.

"Who are _you_ and what are you wearing?"

"I'm Jared!"

"Evaporate tall person!" Sharpay yelled as she stormed out of the gym.

"She's kinda cute," Tomo said happily.

"Yeah, so is a mountain lion. But you don't pet it." Shannon replied with an eye roll.

**click!**

"Hey look, Shan! There's a bridge. We should totally cross it!"

"Let's take the subway, Jay."

"Hell no!"

Tomo and Shannon groaned as Jared took off towards the bridge. They followed him as he got into a random car that was waiting for them. After climbing inside, the car took off across the bridge. When they were half way across, their car was picked up by an invisible force and held fifty feet off the ground.

"I _told_ you we should have taken the subway! That freaky fortune teller chick that looked freakishly like Jay was right." Tomo said from the back of the car. "But no, no one ever listens to Tomo…"

"Charles always wanted to build bridges."

"Aw damnit, we-re in X-Men?" Jared pouted. "This movie sucked."

An army of mutants turned to face the car they were in. Shannon smacked Jared on the back of the head while Tomo gulped. Their car flew towards Alcatraz, and a ball of fire was hurled at it. Seconds before the fire hit the car, Tom turned to Jared.

"Jay?"

"Yes, Tommy?" Jared asked sweetly.

"If we don't make it out of here alive, I just want you to know…"

"Yes?"

"I really fucking hate you."

**click!**

Tomo, Shannon, and Jared found themselves sitting in the living room. They blinked and looked at Tim who was using his Pepsi bottle as a drum stick. The bassist looked up when he felt eyes on him, and waved when he seen that his band mates had returned.

"Anyone wanna watch a movie?" Tim asked.

He was rewarded with screams as Tomo, Shannon, and Jared ran from the room. Tim blinked, trying to figure out what he had done wrong.

"What? What did I do wrong?" He asked, confusion visible in his voice. "Guys? This isn't funny!!"

He didn't get a response.

**(a/n) I hoped you liked it and review please.

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